If you follow me on twitter (@RoseofGerdes) then you’ll occasionally see a tweet about the #FightforBeauty. At first I wanted to tweet something about it everyday, but my twitter skills are still being sharpened, so I thought it would be more realistic to try for once a week. This week’s tweet:
#FightforBeauty: Remember who I am. Sharon, one who God has saved. Not my weight, not my success, not what others think of me.
Sometimes the tweets are about the fight to find beauty in the world around me, sometimes they are about the fight to find the beauty within me. This hashtag campaign came about from a conversation I had a long time ago with my sister about something her college professor had told her: Fight for the Positive.
It stuck with me. The idea of fighting for the positive was, well, a positive one, especially in the context of the theatrical community which can often get stuck in the drudges of darkness. The problem is that I am a more pessimistic, melodramatic, minor key kind of gal by nature. Fighting for the positive is hard for me. Swap joy for positive and the fight becomes almost a guaranteed defeat.
I used to be a more joyful person, or at least a more exuberant person. But as I grew up and experienced the hardships and doubts that God allowed in my life joy became an elusive concept. The times that I tried to exude joy made my soul feel even more joyless because it felt fake, forced.
What was joy when your father gets hit by a drunk driver?
What was joy when got bitten by a tick who threw you into depression and fatigue and distorted your face with bells palsy?
What was joy when your drawing hand was immobilized and you spend most of your days lying face down on your carpet crying out to God to help you push through physical therapy exercises and to give you patience until someone showed up to help you get dressed?
What was joy when your dear mentor killed herself?
Even though there were gifts of joy and hope in all of those situations it was hard to see it. You all have stories of dark moments, days, seasons, where joy was the enemy and not something you desired. If you are like me, you focus on the darkness and refuse to acknowledge the light even if it’s blazing round you.
When I was recovering from my hand accident, I Facebooked moments, events, and people I was thankful for, things that gave me joy. That helped me keep perspective. I’ve tried it a few times since, but not with regularity. For whatever reason, joy is tough. I think partly because we assume that if we have joy we must also be happy. I don’t know if that’s true, I don’t think it is. Regardless, I find it easier to have a feeling of joy and thankfulness when I fight to find the beauty that is in the world, situations, and in me. Beauty is a language I can understand.
That’s why I’ve started the #FightforBeauty. I invite you all to join me and to share the beauty that is in the world with your communities. When I set my mind to it, I have joy and thanks, remembering that God did not leave our world in darkness, but that He broke through time and space to take up the fight for us, winning it at the cross, and brining it to completion upon His return.