Lines drawn in the sand can get washed away. Hard lines drawn on a page can be impossible to erase. That is the lesson I learned when I was working on this picture:
The photo is not the best quality, but you can see that the gridlines are still stubbornly present, refusing to cooperate with the eraser, or me. I wrote a post about how I had to be patient with myself as I went through the process of growing as a writing, artist, and person.
Growth can take longer than we want. Even though I knew I needed to be careful with the pressure of my drawing, the paper of my next illustration was left scared by my heavy-handed execution.
True, the grid lines and original sketch is lighter than in the drawing above, but they are still there.
Fortunately, Photoshop exists for those of us who have trouble with drawing lightly.
My issue is that I love intensity. I thrive on it. The other night (cooling down from a passionate debate), I described myself as a “Volcanic Crusader”. My favorite motto, despite knowing it is not true, is “Brute force is always the answer”.
When I work out, I want it to be extreme.
(Consequently, I’m starting to take boxing lessons this week. I cannot wait.)
When I play the piano, I bang. PP’s are FF’s and FF’s are
And when I draw, I lay down thick, bold, and rather unerasable lines.
Sometimes this works okay, especially when I am working in Ink. But as my previous pictures show, this is not always good. After I completed my last illustration of the kid pretending to be a doctor, I was frustrated by my inability to go light.
So I’ve been making a practice of it.
And I’ve learned something. Starting out gentle, light, tentative, leaves room for nuance and gives much more control.
Drawing my grid lines lightly and working layer by layer with the pencil has turned out so much better. And I was still able to bring intensity into it, it just came about more slowly.
So I’m learning that there are times when it’s good to ease up the pressure, on my pencil but also myself.
Because I struggle with wanting to be Superwoman all the time I often put high and unreasonable expectations on myself for performance. Pressure can be a great motivator. I think intensity is a lot of fun. But gentleness and working a little at a time is sometimes the needed approach.Taking thing nice and easy, step by step, being diligent and patient with one’s growth, instead of demanding instant results, can yield better work.
I have more work to do on this drawing to finish it, but I will continue to work lightly and then go back with layers as needed.
Intensity is still amazing, and I will probably always joke that “Brute force is always the answer”, but I am now trying to practice developing intensity out instead of forcing it. So far so good. We’ll see how long it takes for me to forget this lesson.